{"id":19492,"date":"2020-01-31T01:26:07","date_gmt":"2020-01-31T01:26:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lifeandnews.com\/articles\/?p=19492"},"modified":"2020-02-03T08:13:44","modified_gmt":"2020-02-03T08:13:44","slug":"why-losing-kobe-bryant-felt-like-losing-a-relative-or-friend","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lifeandnews.com\/articles\/why-losing-kobe-bryant-felt-like-losing-a-relative-or-friend\/","title":{"rendered":"Why losing Kobe Bryant felt like losing a relative or friend"},"content":{"rendered":"

Edward R. Hirt<\/a>, Indiana University<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n

On the afternoon of Jan. 26, I was at the Indiana men\u2019s basketball game when a chorus of cellphones in the crowd pinged, alerting them to the news of Kobe Bryant\u2019s death<\/a>. I was astonished at how quickly fans\u2019 attention switched from the game to utter shock and disbelief at the news of Bryant\u2019s passing.<\/p>\n

Soon, it seemed like the entire nation was in mourning.<\/p>\n

Sure, we might expect the basketball world to grieve the passing of one of its all-time greats. But grief came from all corners. The Grammy Awards featured poignant tributes<\/a> to Bryant. President Donald Trump<\/a> and former President Barack Obama<\/a> offered their condolences. People who had never met Bryant told reporters they felt like they had just lost a family member<\/a>.<\/p>\n

How can so many be so deeply affected by the death of someone they\u2019ve never even met? Why might some people see Kobe Bryant as a family member?<\/p>\n

As a social psychologist<\/a>, I\u2019m not surprised by these reactions. I see three main reasons, grounded in psychology, that explain why Bryant\u2019s death had such a profound effect on so many people.<\/p>\n

1. Feelings formed from afar<\/h2>\n

Psychologists Shira Gabriel and Melanie Green have written about<\/a> how many of us form what are called \u201cparasocial bonds<\/a>\u201d with other people. These tend to be one-way relationships with people whom we\u2019ve never met or interacted with, but nonetheless feel intimately connected to.<\/p>\n

Although ideas about parasocial bonds were first developed in the 1950s, they\u2019ve garnered a lot of attention over the past couple of decades. For example, loyal fans of Oprah Winfrey and Ellen DeGeneres watch their shows almost every day, with the hosts actively trying to build a warm rapport with their viewers<\/a> and their audience developing intense feelings of attachment<\/a>.<\/p>\n

But interest in parasocial relationships has exploded<\/a> in the age of social media. People who follow celebrities on Twitter and Instagram get access to their relationships, emotions, opinions, triumphs and travails.<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

Even though it\u2019s a one-way relationship \u2013 what are the chances a celebrity actually responds to a fan\u2019s message on social media? \u2013 fans can feel a profound level of intimacy with the famous people they follow<\/a>. Kobe Bryant, with over 15 million followers<\/a> on Twitter and nearly 20 million followers<\/a> on Instagram, clearly had a massive following.<\/p>\n

2. The \u2018what if\u2019 factor<\/h2>\n

Still, there was something about Bryant\u2019s death that seemed particularly tragic.<\/p>\n

There\u2019s no way to measure whether the outpouring of public grief surpassed that of recent celebrity deaths like Michael Jackson, Prince or Robin Williams. But it\u2019s certainly possible that the unique circumstances surrounding Kobe Bryant\u2019s death evoked stronger emotions.<\/p>\n

Bryant died in a helicopter during extremely foggy conditions. This can lead to a lot of \u201cwhat ifs,\u201d otherwise known as \u201ccounterfactual thoughts<\/a>.\u201d Work by psychologists Daniel Kahneman and Amos Tversky has shown<\/a> that when we can easily come up with ways to undo an outcome \u2013 say, \u201cif it had been a clear day, Kobe would still be alive\u201d \u2013 it can intensify the anger, sadness or frustration about a negative event. It makes the death seem that much more random \u2013 and make us feel like it never should have happened in the first place.<\/p>\n

Furthermore, Bryant\u2019s 13-year-old daughter, Gianna<\/a>, died in the accident, along with seven others. This broadens Bryant\u2019s identity beyond the basketball court, reminding people of his role as a father of four daughters \u2013 three of whom will now have to live without their sister and father.<\/p>\n

\"\"
Students walk beside a mural of Kobe Bryant and daughter Gianna at a basketball court in Taguig, Philippines.<\/span>
\nAP Photo\/Aaron Favila<\/a><\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

3. It\u2019s about us, not him<\/h2>\n

I\u2019d also add that our grief over Kobe\u2019s death may actually be less about him \u2013 and more about us.<\/p>\n

According to \u201cterror management theory<\/a>,\u201d reminders of our own mortality evoke an existential terror. In response, we search for ways to give our lives meaning<\/a> and seek comfort and reassurance by connecting with loved ones. I found it striking that following the news of Bryant\u2019s death, his former teammate Shaquille O\u2019Neal said that he had called up several estranged friends<\/a> in order to make amends. Bryant\u2019s death was a stark reminder that life\u2019s too short to hold onto petty grudges.<\/p>\n

Similarly, after the loss of loved ones, we\u2019ll often hear people suggest hugging those we love tightly, or living every day to the fullest.<\/p>\n

Many had felt like they had gotten to know Bryant after watching him play basketball on TV for 20 years. His death was random and tragic, reminding us that we, too, will someday die \u2013 and making us wonder what we\u2019ll have to show for our lives.<\/p>\n

[ Expertise in your inbox. Sign up for The Conversation\u2019s newsletter and get a digest of academic takes on today\u2019s news, every day.<\/a><\/em> ]\"The<\/p>\n

Edward R. Hirt<\/a>, Professor of Psychological and Brain Sciences, Indiana University<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n

This article is republished from The Conversation<\/a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Edward R. Hirt, Indiana University On the afternoon of Jan. 26, I was at the Indiana men\u2019s basketball game when a chorus of cellphones in the crowd pinged, alerting them to the news of Kobe Bryant\u2019s death. I was astonished at how quickly fans\u2019 attention switched from the game to utter shock and disbelief at […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":44,"featured_media":19493,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[293],"tags":[3081,485,3507,4630,2592,228,461,7613],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lifeandnews.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19492"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lifeandnews.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lifeandnews.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lifeandnews.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/44"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lifeandnews.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=19492"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.lifeandnews.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19492\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":19503,"href":"https:\/\/www.lifeandnews.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19492\/revisions\/19503"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lifeandnews.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/19493"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lifeandnews.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=19492"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lifeandnews.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=19492"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lifeandnews.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=19492"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}