{"id":30492,"date":"2022-07-26T17:50:00","date_gmt":"2022-07-26T17:50:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lifeandnews.com\/articles\/?p=30492"},"modified":"2022-07-26T17:55:40","modified_gmt":"2022-07-26T17:55:40","slug":"feeling-connected-enhances-mental-and-physical-health-here-are-4-research-backed-ways-to-find-moments-of-connection-with-loved-ones-and-strangers","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lifeandnews.com\/articles\/feeling-connected-enhances-mental-and-physical-health-here-are-4-research-backed-ways-to-find-moments-of-connection-with-loved-ones-and-strangers\/","title":{"rendered":"Feeling connected enhances mental and physical health \u2013 here are 4 research-backed ways to find moments of connection with loved ones and strangers"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Dave Smallen<\/a>, Metropolitan State University<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman and her fianc\u00e9 joke and laugh together while playing video games after a long day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A college freshman interrupts verbal harassment aimed at a neighbor, who expresses gratitude as they walk home together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A man receives a phone call to confirm an appointment, and stumbles into a deep and personal conversation about racism in America with the stranger on the other end of the line.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Each of these scenarios was recalled by a research participant as a moment of meaningful human connection. One\u2019s sense of belonging<\/a> and emotional safety<\/a> with family, friends and communities is built through actual interactions. As these examples suggest, these connections can come in a variety of shapes and sizes. Often small and fleeting and sometimes powerfully memorable, moments of connection occur with loved ones and strangers<\/a>, in person and online<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I spent the past several years exploring moments of connection as a graduate student in psychology<\/a>, with a particular eye toward how people experienced meaningful connection during the pandemic<\/a>. It\u2019s not just a little bonus to forge these connections; they have real benefits.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Feeling well connected to others contributes to mental health<\/a>, meaning in life<\/a>, and even physical well-being<\/a>. When loneliness or isolation becomes chronic, human brains<\/a> and bodies<\/a> suffer, straining a person\u2019s long-term well-being at least as significantly as major health risks such as obesity and air pollution.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Researchers know what kinds of behavior enhance feelings of social connection. Here are four ways to connect.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. Heart-to-hearts<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

For many people, the first thing that comes to mind when asked about meaningful connections are heart-to-heart conversations. These are key moments of emotional intimacy<\/a>. One person opens up about something personal, often emotional and vulnerable, and in return another person communicates understanding, acceptance and care \u2013 what researchers call responsiveness<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, I could open up to you about my current experience of becoming a new father, sharing complex and precious sentiments that I would not disclose to just anyone. If I perceive in that moment that you really \u201cget\u201d what I reveal to you, that you accept my feelings as valid, whether or not you can relate to them, and that I matter to you, then I\u2019ll probably feel a sense of closeness and trust.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In emotionally intimate moments, personal sharing is often reciprocal, though a sense of connection can arise whether you are the one opening up or offering responsiveness<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"man<\/a>
Lending a hand can be one way to build a connection. Klaus Vedfelt\/DigitalVision via Getty Images<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

2. Giving and receiving help<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

A key way that people bond is by giving and receiving support<\/a>. There are two kinds of social support that often figure in moments of connection. Instrumental support is tangibly helping with the practicalities of a solution. For example, if you bring me groceries when I\u2019m under the weather, we would be bonding through instrumental support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Emotional support is nurturing another\u2019s feelings. If you dropped by to give me a hug when I\u2019m stressed out, this would be emotional support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Either way, your actions are responsive: You understand my situation and by taking action you show that you care.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While it\u2019s perhaps no surprise that you might feel connected when someone offers you responsive kindness, it works in the other direction too. Supporting others<\/a> builds that feeling of connection, especially if you sincerely want to help and feel your aid is useful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To be effective, though, you need to be responding to another person\u2019s needs rather than your own idea of what they need. Sometimes this means offering emotional support to help another person calm down so they can tackle their own problem, despite your own desire to jump in and solve the issue for them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. Positive vibes<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Vulnerability and support are no joke, but meaningful interactions need not be somber. Research shows that people gain a sense of connection by experiencing positive emotions together<\/a>. And this sense of connection is not only in your mind. When two people share this kind of good vibe, their bodies coordinate too. They synchronize, with simultaneous gestures and facial expressions, and even biomarkers such as heart rate and hormones shifting in similar patterns.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Human beings rely on these positive, synchronous moments as a basic connecting force beginning in infancy, and people continue to seek out synchronous interactions throughout life. Think of enjoyable activities like singing<\/a> and dancing<\/a> together \u2013 they\u2019re embodied forms of connection that actually release endorphins that help you feel bonded. Same goes for laughing together<\/a>, which comes with the bonus that a shared sense of humor suggests a similar sense of reality<\/a>, which enhances connection.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone tells you about a positive event in their life, a reliable way to enhance bonds is to sincerely and enthusiastically respond to their good news<\/a>: celebrating, congratulating, saying \u201cI\u2019m so happy for you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"two<\/a>
Affection and gratitude can be expressed through words or actions. Sarah Mason\/DigitalVision via Getty Images<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

4. Affirming expressions<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Those moments when you let people know how much you appreciate, like or love them can be brief but powerful. Expressing and receiving affection<\/a> and gratitude<\/a> are especially well-researched means of bonding. Outright manifestations of affection<\/a> can come in the form of direct verbal declarations, like saying \u201cI love you,\u201d or physical expressions, like holding hands.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Imprecision and imperfection<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Attempts at connection can be complicated by two people\u2019s individual perceptions and preferences.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Humans aren\u2019t mind readers. Anyone\u2019s sense of what others think and feel is at best moderately accurate<\/a>. To feel connected, it\u2019s not enough that I genuinely understand you or care for you, for example. If you don\u2019t perceive me as understanding or caring as we interact, you likely won\u2019t walk away feeling connected. This is especially an issue when you\u2019re lonely, because loneliness can lead you to view your interactions in a more negative way<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Each person also has different preferences for ways of connecting that more reliably help them to feel bonded. Some people love to talk about their feelings, for example, and may gravitate toward emotional intimacy. Others may open up only with those they deeply trust, but love to connect more widely through humor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, not all interactions need to be meaningful moments of connection. Even well-bonded infants and caregivers, in that most vital of relationships, are in an observable connected state only 30% of the time<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Moments of connection also need not be extravagant or extraordinary. Simply turning your attention to others when they want to connect<\/a> yields great relationship benefits.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gaining insight into various ways of connection may allow you to practice new ways to engage with others. It may also help you simply pay attention to where these moments already exist in daily life: Savoring moments when you feel close<\/a> to others \u2013 or even just recalling such events<\/a> \u2013 can enhance that sense of connection.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dave Smallen<\/a>, Community Faculty in Psychology, Metropolitan State University<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

This article is republished from The Conversation<\/a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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