{"id":35657,"date":"2023-11-27T16:32:00","date_gmt":"2023-11-27T16:32:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lifeandnews.com\/articles\/?p=35657"},"modified":"2023-12-03T16:00:30","modified_gmt":"2023-12-03T16:00:30","slug":"why-are-bullies-so-mean-a-youth-psychology-expert-explains-whats-behind-their-harmful-behavior","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lifeandnews.com\/articles\/why-are-bullies-so-mean-a-youth-psychology-expert-explains-whats-behind-their-harmful-behavior\/","title":{"rendered":"Why are bullies so mean? A youth psychology expert explains what\u2019s behind their harmful\u00a0behavior"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Sara Goldstein<\/a>, University of Delaware<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Curious Kids<\/a> is a series for children of all ages. If you have a question you\u2019d like an expert to answer, send it to curiouskidsus@theconversation.com<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Why are bullies so mean? \u2013 Daisy, age 9, Lake Oswego, Oregon<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

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Being bullied can make your life miserable, and decades of research prove it: Bullied children and teens are at risk<\/a> for anxiety, depression, dropping out of school, peer rejection, social isolation and self-harm.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Adults can be bullied too, often at a job, and they may suffer just as much<\/a> as kids do. https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/iFlrCuSyhvU?wmode=transparent&start=0 You can help stop bullying in your school or workplace.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m a professor<\/a> who studies child and adolescent development. That includes learning how people become bullies \u2013 and how they can be stopped.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First, let\u2019s define what bullying is<\/a>: It\u2019s mean-spirited, harmful behavior by someone with more power or status \u2013 like a popular kid at school or a supervisor at work \u2013 who repeatedly picks on, harasses, irritates or injures a person with less power or status.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bullying can take many forms<\/a> \u2013 physical, like pushing, shoving and hitting; relational, such as spreading rumors, keeping somebody out of a friend group or just rude remarks; or sexual harassment and stalking behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sometimes, bullies target someone because of their race, religion, sexual orientation or appearance. People from the LGBTQ+ community, or who are overweight, or with a physical or developmental disability are more likely to be bullied<\/a>. As a result, they may develop mental health problems<\/a>, including depression, anxiety and self-harming behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So why do bullies do it?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

People learn how to bully others early on through what psychologists call modeling and social learning. This means bullies see other people bullying and they essentially model, or copy, this aggressive behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Media is a big culprit here<\/a>. When mean or violent conduct is glamorized and gamified in music, video games, TV and movies, bullies will imitate what they see and hear, especially if it seems cool or if it\u2019s rewarded.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Family is also an influence<\/a>. If children grow up in a home without kindness and closeness, but with plenty of physical punishment and heavy conflict \u2013 including parents fighting with each other \u2013 then children view this behavior as acceptable. They can go on to treat their peers this way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when a kid falls into a group of friends who are bullies; they become more likely to bully others themselves<\/a>. To say it another way, they bully because they think it makes them look cool in front of their friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And bullies bully for lots of other reasons<\/a>. Some do it because it makes them feel better about themselves when they put other people down. Other bullies discovered that force and intimidation worked for them in the past, so it\u2019s a go-to strategy to get what they want. Still others simply have difficulty controlling themselves and can\u2019t calm down when they\u2019re angry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with some bullies, it\u2019s just a way to get ahead. For instance, an adult bully in the workplace may spread an embarrassing rumor<\/a> about a co-worker to keep a rival from being promoted. https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/tJsGGsPNakw?wmode=transparent&start=0 Dealing with cyberbullies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How to handle bullies<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Fortunately, there are lots of ways to stop a bully.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you\u2019re a child or teenager, talk about what has happened with a trusted adult \u2013 a parent, teacher, principal or counselor. They will help you figure out your next move. Schools are familiar with this sort of problem; they have policies in place<\/a> to protect victims of bullying.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you\u2019re an adult who has been bullied in the workplace, talk to your human resources department or a neutral supervisor who can advise you on next steps. You are also legally protected \u2013 employment laws prohibit harassment and discriminatory behavior<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whatever your age, it\u2019s a good idea to talk to friends or family members who may not be involved in the incident but who will offer support. Engaging in coping activities \u2013 like exercising, or relaxing with a walk \u2013 may also help<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You can also use the Crisis Text Line<\/a>, available 24\/7, by texting 741741. Or call the Stop Bullying Now Hotline<\/a> at 1-800-273-8255; the link also provides international numbers. Or call 988 to reach the national Suicide & Crisis Lifeline<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And a final word: Bullying is not acceptable. It\u2019s not just \u201ckids being kids,\u201d or that you\u2019re \u201ctoo sensitive.\u201d If a bully is bothering you, don\u2019t try to handle it alone \u2013 getting help is the way to get through.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Hello, curious kids! Do you have a question you\u2019d like an expert to answer? Ask an adult to send your question to CuriousKidsUS@theconversation.com<\/a>. Please tell us your name, age and the city where you live.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

And since curiosity has no age limit \u2013 adults, let us know what you\u2019re wondering, too. We won\u2019t be able to answer every question, but we will do our best.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sara Goldstein<\/a>, Professor of Human Development, University of Delaware<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

This article is republished from The Conversation<\/a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Sara Goldstein, University of Delaware Curious Kids is a series for children of all ages. If you have a question you\u2019d like an expert to answer, send it to curiouskidsus@theconversation.com. Why are bullies so mean? \u2013 Daisy, age 9, Lake Oswego, Oregon Being bullied can make your life miserable, and decades of research prove it: […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":44,"featured_media":35658,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[292],"tags":[14019,14888,2777,132,6689,6786,11431,3134],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lifeandnews.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35657"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lifeandnews.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lifeandnews.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lifeandnews.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/44"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lifeandnews.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=35657"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.lifeandnews.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35657\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":35712,"href":"https:\/\/www.lifeandnews.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35657\/revisions\/35712"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lifeandnews.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/35658"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lifeandnews.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=35657"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lifeandnews.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=35657"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lifeandnews.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=35657"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}