{"id":39153,"date":"2025-04-04T13:15:00","date_gmt":"2025-04-04T13:15:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lifeandnews.com\/articles\/?p=39153"},"modified":"2025-04-06T16:50:38","modified_gmt":"2025-04-06T16:50:38","slug":"being-alone-has-its-benefits-%e2%88%92-a-psychologist-flips-the-script-on-the-loneliness-epidemic","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lifeandnews.com\/articles\/being-alone-has-its-benefits-%e2%88%92-a-psychologist-flips-the-script-on-the-loneliness-epidemic\/","title":{"rendered":"Being alone has its benefits \u2212 a psychologist flips the script on the \u2018loneliness epidemic\u2019"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Virginia Thomas<\/a>, Middlebury<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Over the past few years, experts have been sounding the alarm<\/a> over how much time Americans spend alone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Statistics show that we\u2019re choosing to be solitary for more of our waking hours than ever before<\/a>, tucked away at home<\/a> rather than mingling in public. Increasing numbers of us are dining alone<\/a> and traveling solo<\/a>, and rates of living alone<\/a> have nearly doubled in the past 50 years.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

These trends coincided with the surgeon general\u2019s 2023 declaration<\/a> of a loneliness epidemic, leading to recent claims that the U.S. is living in an \u201canti-social century<\/a>.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Loneliness and isolation are indeed social problems that warrant serious attention, especially since chronic states of loneliness are linked with poor outcomes such as depression and a shortened lifespan<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But there is another side to this story, one that deserves a closer look. For some people, the shift toward aloneness represents a desire for what researchers call \u201cpositive solitude<\/a>,\u201d a state that is associated with well-being<\/a>, not loneliness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As a psychologist<\/a>, I\u2019ve spent the past decade researching why people like to be alone \u2013 and spending a fair amount of time there myself \u2013 so I\u2019m deeply familiar with the joys of solitude. My findings<\/a> join a host of others that have documented a long list of benefits gained when we choose to spend time by ourselves, ranging from opportunities to recharge our batteries<\/a> and experience personal growth<\/a> to making time to connect with our emotions<\/a> and our creativity<\/a>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

So it makes sense to me why people live alone as soon as their financial circumstances allow<\/a>, and when asked why they prefer to dine solo<\/a>, people say simply, \u201cI want more me time.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s also why I\u2019m not surprised that a 2024 national survey<\/a> found that 56% of Americans considered alone time essential for their mental health. Or that Costco is now selling \u201csolitude sheds<\/a>\u201d where for around US$2,000 you can buy yourself some peace and quiet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s clear there is a desire, and a market, for solitude right now in American culture. But why does this side of the story often get lost amid the warnings about social isolation<\/a>?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I suspect it has to do with a collective anxiety about being alone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The stigma of solitude<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

This anxiety stems in large part from our culture\u2019s deficit view of solitude<\/a>. In this type of thinking, the desire to be alone is seen as unnatural and unhealthy, something to be pitied or feared rather than valued or encouraged.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This isn\u2019t just my own observation. A study published in February 2025 found that U.S. news headlines are 10 times more likely to frame being alone negatively than positively<\/a>. This type of bias shapes people\u2019s beliefs, with studies showing that adults<\/a> and children alike have clear judgments<\/a> about when it is \u2013 and importantly when it is not \u2013 acceptable for their peers to be alone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This makes sense given that American culture holds up extraversion as the ideal<\/a> \u2013 indeed as the basis for what\u2019s normal. The hallmarks of extraversion<\/a> include being sociable and assertive, as well as expressing more positive emotions and seeking more stimulation than the opposite personality \u2013 the more reserved and risk-averse introverts. Even though not all Americans are extraverts, most of us have been conditioned to cultivate that trait, and those who do reap social and professional rewards<\/a>. In this cultural milieu, preferring to be alone carries stigma<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But the desire for solitude is not pathological, and it\u2019s not just for introverts<\/a>. Nor does it automatically spell social isolation and a lonely life. In fact, the data doesn\u2019t fully support current fears of a loneliness epidemic, something scholars<\/a> and journalists<\/a> have recently acknowledged.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In other words, although Americans are indeed spending more time alone than previous generations did, it\u2019s not clear that we are actually getting lonelier. And despite our fears for the eldest members of our society, research shows that older adults are happier in solitude<\/a> than the loneliness narrative would lead us to believe. https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/mMdqadMzxt4?wmode=transparent&start=0 It\u2019s all a balancing act \u2013 along with solitude, you need to socialize.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Social media disrupts our solitude<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

However, solitude\u2019s benefits don\u2019t automatically appear whenever we take a break from the social world. They arrive when we are truly alone \u2013 when we intentionally carve out the time and space to connect with ourselves \u2013 not when we are alone on our devices.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My research has found that solitude\u2019s positive effects on well-being are far less likely<\/a> to materialize if the majority of our alone time is spent staring at our screens, especially when we\u2019re passively scrolling social media<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is where I believe the collective anxiety is well placed, especially the focus on young adults who are increasingly forgoing face-to-face social interaction in favor of a virtual life<\/a> \u2013 and who may face significant distress as a result.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Social media is by definition social. It\u2019s in the name. We cannot be truly alone when we\u2019re on it. What\u2019s more, it\u2019s not the type of nourishing \u201cme time\u201d I suspect many people are longing for.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

True solitude turns attention inward. It\u2019s a time to slow down and reflect. A time to do as we please, not to please anyone else. A time to be emotionally available to ourselves, rather than to others. When we spend our solitude in these ways, the benefits accrue: We feel rested and rejuvenated<\/a>, we gain clarity and emotional balance<\/a>, we feel freer and more connected to ourselves<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But if we\u2019re addicted to being busy, it can be hard to slow down. If we\u2019re used to looking at a screen, it can be scary to look inside. And if we don\u2019t have the skills to validate being alone<\/a> as a normal and healthy human need, then we waste our alone time feeling guilty, weird or selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The importance of reframing solitude<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Americans choosing to spend more time alone is indeed a challenge to the cultural script, and the stigmatization of solitude can be difficult to change. Nevertheless, a small but growing body of research indicates that it is possible, and effective, to reframe the way we think about solitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, viewing solitude as a beneficial experience<\/a> rather than a lonely one has been shown to help alleviate negative feelings about being alone, even for the participants who were severely lonely. People who perceive their time alone as \u201cfull\u201d rather than \u201cempty\u201d<\/a> are more likely to experience their alone time as meaningful, using it for growth-oriented purposes such as self-reflection or spiritual connection.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even something as simple as a linguistic shift \u2013 replacing \u201cisolation\u201d with \u201cme time\u201d \u2013 causes people to view their alone time more positively<\/a> and likely affects how their friends and family view it as well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is true that if we don\u2019t have a community of close relationships to return to after being alone, solitude can lead to social isolation<\/a>. But it\u2019s also true that too much social interaction<\/a> is taxing, and such overload negatively affects the quality of our relationships<\/a>. The country\u2019s recent gravitational pull toward more alone time may partially reflect a desire for more balance in a life that is too busy, too scheduled and, yes, too social.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just as connection with others is essential for our well-being, so is connection with ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Virginia Thomas<\/a>, Assistant Professor of Psychology, Middlebury<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

This article is republished from The Conversation<\/a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Virginia Thomas, Middlebury Over the past few years, experts have been sounding the alarm over how much time Americans spend alone. Statistics show that we\u2019re choosing to be solitary for more of our waking hours than ever before, tucked away at home rather than mingling in public. Increasing numbers of us are dining alone and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":56,"featured_media":39154,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[8025,42,10,296,36,38],"tags":[1788,13306,16221,885,891,886,860,16222,2224,3863,2089,4212],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lifeandnews.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39153"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lifeandnews.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lifeandnews.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lifeandnews.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/56"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lifeandnews.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=39153"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.lifeandnews.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39153\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":39155,"href":"https:\/\/www.lifeandnews.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39153\/revisions\/39155"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lifeandnews.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/39154"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lifeandnews.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=39153"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lifeandnews.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=39153"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lifeandnews.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=39153"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}