{"id":40119,"date":"2025-08-12T12:30:00","date_gmt":"2025-08-12T12:30:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lifeandnews.com\/articles\/?p=40119"},"modified":"2025-08-21T04:00:31","modified_gmt":"2025-08-21T04:00:31","slug":"getting-beyond-answers-like-fine-and-nothing-5-simple-ways-to-spark-real-talk-with-kids","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lifeandnews.com\/articles\/getting-beyond-answers-like-fine-and-nothing-5-simple-ways-to-spark-real-talk-with-kids\/","title":{"rendered":"Getting beyond answers like \u2018fine\u2019 and \u2018nothing\u2019: 5 simple ways to spark real talk with kids"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Shelbie Witte<\/a>, University of North Dakota<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Each afternoon, a familiar conversation unfolds in many households.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow was school today?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cFine.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhat did you learn?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNothing.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the classroom, teachers also struggle with stonewalling students. They\u2019ll pose a question, only to be met with blank stares<\/a>. They might incorporate \u201cwait time<\/a>\u201d to give students a moment to gather their thoughts. But even then, their students offer brief or vague responses. Students, meanwhile, often get nervous<\/a> about asking for clarification or diving deeper into a topic in front of their peers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This can have consequences: Children who hesitate to ask or answer questions risk becoming adults with the same habits<\/a>. Adults who avoid asking questions or avoid admitting what they don\u2019t know can become willfully ignorant: They skirt the consequences of their lack of knowledge<\/a> and the impact it can have on themselves and others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

With the start of school just around the corner, it\u2019s an important time to create opportunities for children to stretch their conversational and curiosity muscles<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m an educator, researcher<\/a> and parent who studies adolescent education<\/a> and teacher preparation<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here are five strategies parents and caregivers can use with children to make them better conversationalists and cultivate curiosity. The suggestions might appear straightforward. But they outline an easy way to avoid being iced out with \u201cyes\u201d or \u201cno\u201d answers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. Be creative with your questions<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Part of the issue arises from asking questions that can be batted away with a one-word response.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children want to know whether the adults in their lives are genuinely interested in their day. Asking the same, rote questions each day says otherwise.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Try shaking things up and ask more specific, open-ended questions instead: \u201cWhat was the most interesting thing you did today?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIf you could turn back time and change how you handled something at school today, what would it be?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIf you were in charge of your class tomorrow, what would you teach?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. Engage with their curiosity<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

As important as it is for adults to ask questions that convey genuine interest, it\u2019s just as valuable to engage with questions kids ask.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Young children ask \u201cwhy\u201d so often that adults can find themselves falling back on a classic retort: \u201cBecause I said so!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When a \u201cwhy\u201d gets shut down, a child\u2019s curiosity and wonder are also snuffed out<\/a>. Instead, try acknowledging and engaging with this curiosity: \u201cGood question. Here\u2019s my thinking \u2026\u201d or \u201cLet\u2019s talk about why this is important \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At the same time, you can also model other ways to ask questions<\/a>: \u201cI\u2019ve wondered that too. Do you think it\u2019s because \u2026?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. Think out loud<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

When adults verbalize their thinking out loud<\/a>, they\u2019re showing children how their brains work and how problems get solved.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cDo you ever wonder why cats purr?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cDo you think I can mix the dry and wet ingredients for the cake at the same time?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI noticed the flags were at half-staff today in front of your school. Could you ask someone to find out why?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Doing so encourages children to listen to their inner voice \u2013 and to trust the questions that emerge, no matter how silly they might seem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

4. Be a seeker<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Admitting you don\u2019t know the answer to something can be uncomfortable, especially because children often expect their parents to know everything. But simply responding \u201cI don\u2019t know\u201d to a question isn\u2019t enough. It\u2019s important to show children how to find answers, whether it\u2019s through assembly manuals, recipes or a nutrition label.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you come across a confusing passage in a book, you can show kids how to use the tools contained within the book<\/a>: a glossary, table of contents or index.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there are the questions that don\u2019t have a single, simple answer. You can explain how more than one internet search might be necessary and it\u2019s probably not a great idea to simply accept the first answer that pops up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

By showing children that it\u2019s OK to not know all the answers, you give them the confidence to ask more questions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

5. What I heard you say was \u2026<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Children can have a hard time articulating what they\u2019re curious or confused about.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For this reason, active listening<\/a> is a critical behavior to model. If you\u2019re confused about what you\u2019re hearing, rather than saying something like, \u201cI don\u2019t get what you\u2019re saying,\u201d you could repeat what you heard, and then ask, \u201cIs that what you\u2019re saying?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If they give a meandering answer to your question \u2013 even if they go off topic \u2013 you can highlight what stood out to you to show that you were really listening: \u201cWhat I really appreciated about your answer to my question was \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Avoid the temptation to multitask when children approach you with questions. If you put your phone away, make eye contact and ask follow-up questions, kids will be more willing to keep asking questions in the future.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children are born with a natural wonder and enthusiasm for learning. As Carl Sagan said<\/a>, \u201cThe complex and subtle problems we face can only have complex and subtle solutions and we need people able to think complex and subtle thoughts. I believe a great many children have that capability if only they are encouraged.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Prodding children to tap into their own curiosity while respecting their needs, limitations and fears can have a powerful impact on their ability to ask and answer questions about the world, big and small \u2013 or, at the very least, give them the confidence to try.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Shelbie Witte<\/a>, Dean, College of Education and Human Development, University of North Dakota<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

This article is republished from The Conversation<\/a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Shelbie Witte, University of North Dakota Each afternoon, a familiar conversation unfolds in many households. \u201cHow was school today?\u201d \u201cFine.\u201d \u201cWhat did you learn?\u201d \u201cNothing.\u201d In the classroom, teachers also struggle with stonewalling students. They\u2019ll pose a question, only to be met with blank stares. They might incorporate \u201cwait time\u201d to give students a moment […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":56,"featured_media":40120,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[8025,292,42,10,36,15533,38],"tags":[12588,10288,132,9646,8831,149,885,891,886,860,130,2467],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lifeandnews.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/40119"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lifeandnews.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lifeandnews.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lifeandnews.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/56"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lifeandnews.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=40119"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.lifeandnews.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/40119\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":40121,"href":"https:\/\/www.lifeandnews.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/40119\/revisions\/40121"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lifeandnews.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/40120"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lifeandnews.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=40119"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lifeandnews.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=40119"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lifeandnews.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=40119"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}